


Burden

by Kajedhorrors



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-12
Updated: 2014-04-12
Packaged: 2018-01-19 02:00:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1451254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kajedhorrors/pseuds/Kajedhorrors
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A rough draft, stream of consciousness based on my zero knowledge of the limitations of mental illness.</p><p>Basically Caliborn is in foster care, but his twin sister has stayed hidden, living on the street and visiting him when his door is locked and his window is open. God knows why, he's a huge dick to her. She convinces him to go and have drinks with Dirk Strider, the guy down the street. Confusion ensues.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Burden

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger warnings for abusive sibling I guess. And hallucination.

Her hair was blonde. Almost white. It reminded you a lot of the guy's hair. You didn't know his name. She teased you about that a lot.

“You should talk to him.” She'd say.

“I'll tear your throat out.” You'd reply.

It was good.

She would never shut up about him. It made you jealous. And angry.

“He lives just down the street. He's outside almost every day.” She told you once.

“I'm not.” You snarled at her. More anger in your voice than there was in your being. You brushed the raven hair out of your eyes and stared out the filthy panes of the window. The room was small and stuffy. The bed took up almost the whole floor. It had no frame or box spring. Just a mattress and torn sheets.

“Is the door locked?” She asked.

“What do you think?” You asked her.

“I hope you locked it.” She whispered, as if you couldn't hear her.

Your head snapped towards her. “Are you questioning me? You think I'd be stupid enough to leave the door unlocked while you're here?”

She looked at you coldly, green eyes unblinking. “You hate me. You want them to come and take me away.”

Your eyes were moist and burning, but you turned quickly back to the window. “Shut up. If they hide you I can't kill you.” 

She was silent for a long time. It seemed like she had given up on convincing you. You didn't want her to give up.

“What was your name again?” You asked her.

“Wonderful question to ask your twin.” She said.

“Fuck, forget it.” You grumbled. You wiped a green sleeve across your sniffling face.

Your sister inched closer, bed springs creaking. She laid a hand on your shoulder. “I'm Calliope. And you're Caliborn.”

“That's a lie.” You snapped. You wriggled out of her grasp and put your back to the wall, staring at her. Her clothes were green and shabby, like yours, but washed, and taken care of. You never knew how she kept them like that.

“Is that what they told you?” She asked sadly.

“Mrs. Crocker says my name is Calvin. She wanted to know who told me my name is Caliborn.” You said this as flatly and as quietly as possible. You could see the hurt in your sister's eyes.

“You didn't tell them, did you?” she asked.

You giggled and shook your head. “I just told her I would tear off her leg and eat it.”

She grit her pointed teeth. “You shouldn't do that. What if they move you again? I might never find you!”

“You always find me.” You snapped. “I wish they would send me far away so I never had to see you again.”

“But I'll always find you.” Calliope assured you.

“I know.” You said, climbing to your bare feet. Your sharp toenails scraped the floor as you dragged yourself to the door. You checked the lock again. You had checked it over and over. You pulled your chair in front of the door and looked at Calliope.

“Are we going out?” Calliope asked quietly.

“Do we have to?” You ask.

“Yes.” She says.

You cursed a little too loudly and crossed to the window. You pulled open the window and felt the cool breeze. You sat on the window sill and pulled on a pair of worn sneakers. Calliope bent down beside you and squeezed through the opening to the outside. 

You swung your legs over the sill and wriggled out. Your feet crunched in the leaves and twigs and you stood on tip-toe to reach the window. You pulled it until only an inch remained unsealed. You had to leave yourself a way back.

You turned around to find that your sister was already at the sidewalk, wearing her black jeans and green hoodie. You jogged over to her and grabbed a fistful of her collar. She yelped in surprise as you jerked her back. “Stay close to me or I'll kill you. If you get seen, I. Will. Kill. You.” 

Calliope nodded wearily and snaked out of your grasp. She took a few steps backwards until she was slightly behind you. 

“We should go see the boy.” Your twin whispers happily.

You almost turned around and smacked her, but you had to get out of sight of the house first. You couldn't let them see her. She escaped when they got you, when they came looking for your mom, found only a corpse and a shivering orphan. But she wouldn't escape again. Not if they saw her. They could never know about her. She was yours.

You grabbed her arm and dug your nails in. She bit her lip and picked up her pace. You passed a row of hedges and you looked back to make sure you couldn't see your house from here. You couldn't. You pushed Calliope to the ground. She shrieked and began crying when she hit the pavement.

“Stop talking about him.” You hissed. “He is mine, not yours, mine. You don't get to talk to him.”

“You don't even know his name!” She spat through her tears.

You grabbed a fistful of her white hair and dragged her through the bushes. She squirmed and whined until you got to the tree in front of the vacant house. You shoved her against it.

“Don't move.” You whispered. “I'll be right back.”

Calliope wept as you turned away and stomped back into the street. You ran straight into someone.

“Fuck.” you utter.

The boy might have blinked at you, but you couldn't tell past the pointy shades. “Hey.” he said.

You feel like you might have blushed, but you really hoped you hadn't. You felt nauseous all of a sudden. You felt like growling, but your voice was gone. You managed to croak a “Hi.”

The boy smirked at you. “What were you doing in the bushes.” He leaned to one side to peer over your shoulder, but you got into his personal space and blocked his view.

“Nothing.” You growled.

The boy raised an eyebrow and extended a hand. “Dirk Strider.”

You stared at the hand and the boy. His face was dark and his hair was almost white. He was taller than you and his hands were longer. You took his hand as quickly as you could force yourself to. It was warm. You shook his hand a little too long before you realized you should introduce yourself.

“Caliborn.” You coughed, jerking your hand out of his grasp.

Dirk's hand hung in the air a few moments longer, then his fingers clenched and his arm fell to the pocket of his skinny jeans. You watched the motion and your eyes traveled up and down his legs. You stared straight ahead into his chest and then up into his face. It was the same amused smile and obscured eyes as the last time you looked, but this time it made you feel naked, ashamed.

“Cool name. Welsh, right?” Dirk smiled.

You blinked at him. “Um... I don't know.” You could have killed yourself right there. It would have felt better.

“It's the name of a sword. I like swords.” Dirk said casually.

“So... do I.” You replied lamely.

“So what were you doing in the bushes?” He asked again.

You shouldn't have stepped this close to him. You couldn't breathe, much less could you lie.

“I was talking to someone.” You said. “A girl.” The last bit sounded stupid and unnecessary the longer it hung in the air between you.

Dirk shrugged. “I don't talk to girls much.”

“That's good.” You whispered. You hoped that he didn't hear you.

Either way, his expression did not change. He put a hand on your shoulder and you froze. You did not pull away like when Calliope touched you. You wanted his touch.

As you thought of your sister, you could swear you heard her whimper from behind the hedges. Your breath caught. You stared at Dirk. He didn't notice her.

“You wanna hang out? The boy asked you.

You found yourself smiling in spite of yourself. “Yeah. Sure.”

–--

You sat on Dirk's porch for hours, talking, joking, growling. You felt more comfortable being yourself after a while. Being yourself made Dirk laugh. You were sure the alcohol helped. There were a half dozen flattened beer cans on the porch next to you. You giggled at whatever Dirk just said. It didn't matter, you thought it was great. It was great.

You breathed the crisp fall air. You watched the sun setting over the crappy old houses. You spared a glance to the windows and doors and cars of the neighbors. None of them were as interesting as Dirk. His sunglasses were slipping. His eyes were a golden brown color. You had never seen it before. It was beautiful.

You caught sight of a green blur at the corner of your eye and your blood boiled. Calliope peered around the corner of Dirk's house with a wicked grin on her pale face. You sprung to your feet and almost lost the contents of your stomach. You slouched against a beam and groaned. Dirk climbed to your side quickly, being more used to the drink than you.

“What's wrong Cal?” He whispered. You felt like throwing yourself at him. That was more than just the alcohol. The alcohol definitely helped though.

“I need to go talk to someone. Don't tell anyone.” You slurred.

He gave you smile and a nod, then slumped back down on the porch. You hobbled down the steps and almost tripped on the garden stepping stones. You walked a crooked line around the side of the house. When you got far enough away you started hissing Calliope's name. She appeared from the shadows.  
“You're doing well.” She assured you.

“ShUt Up.” You grumbled.

Calliope giggled. That really pissed you off. You shoved her backwards, but that just made her giggle more.

“You're an awful drinker. And an awful person.” She teased.

You swung a clumsy fist, but she blocked it easily. You toppled and fell to the hard ground. You rolled onto your back and stared up at her. 

“I hate yoU.” You spat.

“But I don't hate you.” Calliope said. She crouched at your side and rubbed your aching stomach.

You stared at her with suspicion. “What?” you said stupidly.

She dug her nails into the soft flesh of your belly and you squirmed.

“I'm the only one that doesn't hate you Caliborn.” She smiled serenely. “All the others are dead. You have no friends, or family. Even Dirk won't like you when he sobers up.”

“No.” You moaned. “Dirk is my friend.” Tears prickled at the corners of your eyes. “You're my family.”

Calliope shook her head. “You're wrong. Your broken, Caliborn. You need to be fixed. That's all I'm here for. I'm not your family.”

“But then who are you?” You sobbed. You stared at the female mirror of your face, half obscured by chalk white locks.

You hear footsteps on the leaves. Dirk stumbles to your side and looks down at you. Calliope doesn't turn. You wanted to warn her. You knew they would take her away. Dirk would tell your foster parents and they'd find your twin and lock her away. You felt like screaming, you felt like crying. You were crying. You looked at Calliope pleadingly, wanting her to run away.

She didn't run. She stared at you with pity. With anger. With mockery.

Dirk reached down and put his arms under your shoulders and legs. He hoisted you up into his arms. Calliope watched him impassively. You stared at her, uncomprehending. She walked alongside Dirk and took a hold of your hand.

“It's okay Caliborn.” She said. “He can't see me. I'm not real. I never was. Your broken Caliborn. I am your burden alone to bear.”

You turned away from her and buried your head in Dirk's wife beater. You cried harder.

**Author's Note:**

> I apologize for shitty plot twists, shitty plots, grammar and spelling errors, and the fact that whenever I try to write in past-tense my mind tries to switch to present tense. I probably left some mistakes in there, but this was never meant to be good. I just needed to write it. I will never continue or edit this.


End file.
